By Aine

The Greens seem intent on pressing ahead with their plans to have a directly elected Mayor of Dublin.  The cost of maintaining a Mayor in office is put at some €8 million a year.

Why not go the whole hog I say, and have a whole Royal Family all of our own? Hang the expense, if the Government doesn’t seem too concerned about the state of our coffers then why should we worry?  And the entertainment they’d provide would be a welcome diversion from all the doom and gloom about at the moment. 

I’ve been giving this a good bit of thought and can suggest some likely candidates.  Maeve Binchy for Queen, for example.  Granted she doesn’t have the pinched features, bad hairdo and conservative clothes of her across the water.  Quite the opposite in fact, she has the soft genial features of an indulgent Granny and a figure that suggests general indulgence.  Sure all the better, this is Ireland after all where we like to indulge indulgence.  And she is much loved.  Celia Holman Lee would be another consideration.  She can be depended on to scrub up nicely, is always co-ordinated to within an inch of her life and is no shrinking violet when it comes to media attention.  In everything, at everything, she obviously is possessed of the requisite reserves of energy required to attend the many functions the office would require.  And I bet she’d only love a chance to wear a tiara.  

What about the menfolk?  Well David Norris is an obvious choice as every royal family seems to have a plummy-toned senior male who’s a natty dresser and a bit dotty.  ‘Penny Apples’ Cullen would fit the bill, if you’ll pardon the pun.  If we took him though we’d have to include Jackie Lavin as they seem to be joined at the hip.

Obviously, to qualify, the younger ones would have to have a penchant for behaving badly and getting their name in the media for all the wrong reasons.  Luckily there’s no shortage of contenders.

I’m thinking here Glenda Gilson for starters. Heard she got engaged recently, do you think maybe she’d do the honours with a Royal wedding? She is media savvy after all, well used to attention. I’m sure she could learn how to do the royal wave if we find her a suitable balcony.

  Maybe Rosanna Davidson, another ‘celebrity’ we’re all familiar with could join the Royal clan, though if we put her and Glenda together sparks could fly as they’ve done in the past.  Mind you that’d be fierce entertaining for the rest of us.  And Rosanna’s Dad could sing at the wedding.  There’s really quite a few attention-seeking young wans that would probably vie for the role of young royal.  Karen Kostner, Lisa Cannon, Jenny Buckly or any other of the luvvies who regularly grace the pages of the glossy magazines

RTE could make a reality show out of choosing our new royal family, generating revenue by having us plebs vote for the candidates of choice.  What fun!

But what location to choose as our very own Buck Palace or Windsor Castle?  Assuming that we don’t want to turf Mary McAleese or her successor out of the Aras, there’s always Farmleigh,  which lies in idle splendour much of the time.  But sure seeing as we’re sparing no expense anyway, why not just build another sumptuous pile in the Phoenix Park?  Green spaces are SO overrated anyway and the main thoroughfare would be a fitting place for subjects to assemble to wave little flags as the Royal cortege passes by on special occasions. 

Anyone feeling churlish about all of this should just think of all the jobs our new Royal Family would create.  It’d take hundreds of security people to ensure their safety.  Ideal jobs for newly-retired Gardai.  The ones still working would be drafted in (on overtime of course) to accompany members as they travel about. 

Dozens of jobs would be created in palace cleaning and maintenance, to act as personal secretaries and valets.  We want to do this right.

With the members chosen and the palace venue picked we could move ahead with the nuptials.  A giant marquee could be erected in the park, again the main road through serving as our very own Grand Mall as the newly wedded couple travel in a horse-drawn carriage to and from the Pro Cathedral, waving at the gathered minions.  Or maybe Michael Smurfit would lend the K Club for the occasions now that the corporate hospitality business has declined.  No doubt our very own celebrity priest. Fr. Michael D’Arcy would be at the head of the queue to perform the honours though this being a Royal wedding it’d take at least half a dozen clergy to render the required sense of importance and occasion.

 Just think of the media coverage!  We’d be able to keep Brian Dobson, Miriam O’ Callaghan and Sharon Ni Bheolain busy for days on end, not to mention dozens of reporters from every newspaper in the land.  And playing host to the world media for the duration would swell the dismally empty coffers.

It goes without saying that wedding planner Franc would be hired to imbue the big day with a suitable amount of razzmatazz and the Chieftains would be drafted in to provide musical entertainment.

The bride would be suitably attired in an Irish designer-created outfit for the princess she thinks she is. The groom could wear a green suit and, instead of a sword, could carry a hurley or a shillelagh as a potent symbol of subjugation of the people.

The guest list would be a ‘who-thinks-they’re who’ list of Irish wannabees.

  The sumptuous banquet would have to be authentic too of course.  Conscious that the eyes of the rest of the world are on us, serving staff would be dressed as leprechauns and Irish colleens. The menu could feature Dublin Bay prawns, Clonakilty black pudding, a huge spit-roasted pig (organically raised on a farm in Meath) cabbage, plenty of spuds, followed by Wexford strawberries, and Darina Allen ice-cream. This sumptuous banquet could be prepared by our top media chefs, Richard Corrigan, Kevin Dundon, and Kevin Thornton, with Rachael Allen doing the prep. The Guinness and whiskey would flow – there would be no mention of recession, bank bail-outs, or four-year plans on this historic day.

After dinner Michael Flately would throw a few shapes to kick off the entertainment. The merriment would continue with Bono taking the stage to entertain and the celebrating would go on all night.

It would cost 15 billion euro (because we’re only dealing in billions in this country these days) but Brian Cowen would negotiate with the IMF to help us out and put it on the tab. It’d be worth it, surely, to takes our minds off our troubles for a while?

 by Grainne

I watched the Green Party’s media briefing on RTE television news on Monday at which the coalition partners announced they would seek a general election in January.  Like a lot of viewers, my eye was drawn to the young child sitting on the knee of one of the politicians at the top table.   Looking closer I saw that it was TD Paul Gogarty.  Can’t say I was surprised.  My first thought was ‘what a lovely little child’ and ‘ah, how cute, she has her teddy bear with her’ and my second was ‘how wholly inappropriate for him to have brought her to a press conference of such grave importance’.

He’s since drawn the ire of a sizeable chunk of the population for bringing baby Daisy along to sit on his lap during the event.   Listeners to RTE’s Liveline the day after said he had no business doing so.  How many had a vague suspicion, like me, that it was a publicity stunt from the attention-seeking and controversial TD? 

For his part he protested that his childminder, the baby’s grandmother, who’s the regular babysitter, wasn’t available and the press briefing was called at short notice so he had no option.  Baloney.  Deputy Gogarty has the usual compliment of Oireachtas staff.  I’m sure other Green Party staff would also have obliged if he’d asked them to keep an eye on the angelic-faced little tot for a few minutes.  I doubt in fact that there’d have been any shortage of takers to watch the little one for the duration of what was a brief enough event.

While the curly-haired little cherub didn’t appear disconcerted by the glare of the photographers’ flashbulbs, the television cameras, media presence, and general kafuffle, it was hardly an ideal environment for someone so young.

Gogarty is said to be upset by the criticism.  He needs to get over himself.  He should ask the advice of his female political colleagues and other Government staff who manage their childcare issues without letting them interfere with work.

Another Dad who was being a bit precious recently was Sinn Fein Senator Pearse Doherty who is tipped to take the seat in the Donegal South-West by election.  He was bemoaning to an RTE reporter the fact that he’d seen little of his three-month old baby son, the third of his three young children, since the election campaign got underway.  He’ll see him a lot less when he’s elected, I thought, as a political career is anything but conducive to family life.  Mind you he should already know that, being a Senator.  He should also bear in mind the fact that he was the one that went to the High Court seeking to force the Government to hold the by-election.  And, while I absolutely agree with the action he took, which came after the Government had, on two occasions, blocked opposition party attempts to move the writ in the Dail, I don’t think he can whinge now that he’s seeing little of his new baby.

Toughen up political Dads, and take a lesson from the women, who juggle parental responsibilities and jobs all the time.

 The Government:

By Aine

Dido had a song out a few years ago called White Flag. The chorus went “I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door”………… this song came into my head this morning and I couldn’t get it out.

I think it’s got something to do with the IMF arriving in our little island in recent days.  Resignation.  Surrender.  The REAL truth of our financial crisis dawning, nay becoming reality. Not that it hasn’t been for some unfortunate citizens who have already lost jobs, homes and family members to emigration. The horrible all-pervading sense of loss I feel at the moment is, I know, shared by many. Up until recently the big fear was the upcoming Budget. Not it seems there are even bigger worries ahead.  

We have to accept that it is inevitable that our Government, led by the hapless, Brian Cowan, needs to engage with the European Union to assist this terminally ill country. Along with our Minister for Finance, Brian Lenihan, they led the not-so-cynical few of us to believe that they actually knew what they were doing and all would be well in the end. Brian Lenihan called for ‘patriotism’ and urged us all to “put our shoulders to the wheel.”

Now I’m not an economist but even I could see that the figures being bandied about were misleading to say the least. The government collectively buried their heads in the sand while denying (as late as last Sunday) the mess we were in. This failure to acknowledge what was really happening is insulting to the people of Ireland, Jesus, even the dogs in the street were running scared, but the government issued denial after denial, all the while sermonising about the ‘national good’.

As far back as September 2008 our country started to become unstuck with the reckless lending of our banks, and the failure of the then regulator to rein them in. The property market began to collapse, surely a signal to the powers-that –be to sit up and take notice?

The Government has never acknowledged culpability in any of this, sallying forth unable to comprehend how the Celtic tiger could possibly be tamed. We are now the laughing stock of Europe.

As for our loss of sovereignty it’s the sad consequence and a very high price to pay for the alarming situation we find ourselves in.

By Aine

The new mobile speed cameras came into operation at midnight last night.

The Gardai have stated that their only aim is to save lives on Irish roads.

A very laudable aspiration I think you’ll agree. But for some reason I’m not convinced. I have concerns on a couple of scores. The cameras are to be operated by a private company called “GoSafe” and according to press reports will not be paid a bonus based on the number of speeding detections they make.    Mmmm, that makes me think of the private clamping companies operating, especially around Dublin but also in provincial towns where a similar claim is made but many people strongly believe otherwise.

 According to the Gardai the key objective of the project is to reduce the number of speed-related collisions and therefore save lives. “GoSafe will be paid on the basis of enforcement hours and survey hours conducted. The hourly rates paid are not linked in any way to the number of detections made” they’ve stated.

The scheme will be operated by trained personnel 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The new speed cameras are to be located “all across Ireland where fatal collisions are happening as a result of inappropriate speed” they say.

Apparently the decision on where to locate the mobile units was taken by the Gardai following extensive analysis of the ‘collision history on the road network’.

So far this year almost 200 people have died on our roads, so any scheme to reduce that number has to be worthwhile.   But I for one am just not comfortable with it being handed over to a private firm to operate.

My other concern is that if we are really serious about reducing the fatalities on our roads, apart from speeding shouldn’t we be better policing other errant driver behavior?  People talking on their mobiles while driving, or worst still, texting? People driving under the influence of anti-depressants and other medication (legal and illegal).  What about those people who still insist on driving with ‘just a few pints’ in them? What about elderly people; their reaction times, situational awareness and cognitive abilities?  I’m not trying to be ageist, far from it but I think we need to be honest in addressing such concerns.

Think of all the elderly people you know receiving some kind of medical treatment or other.  We need to ask ourselves if their illnesses or conditions and the medication they take to address them impairs their ability to drive.  I know that over 70’s must have a “Certification of Fitness” form filled in by their GP to gain a one or three year license and I know that many are competent and able but I still have reservations. I know I’ll be criticised for saying this but I’ve been driving now for over 30 years and have had a few near misses from elderly drivers who pull out in front of me, don’t indicate, and drive in the middle of the road.  I’m not trying to say elderly motorists have the monopoly on bad driving habits, far from it but I still think we need an honest assessment of the risk some may pose for the reasons I’ve outlined.   

I’ve no doubt that in a few months time when the first figures appear the new scheme will be heralded as a success. Let’s hope so as it’s costing us €65 million over five years. But speeding is not the only contributor to the road death statistics. When can we expect the other factors to be addressed?

By Aine 

As a woman you could, I suppose, be incensed about the incident that’s given rise to an internal investigation by one of Ireland’s biggest and most prestigious accountancy firms, PricewaterhouseCoopers. Except that it’s all so tiresomely predicable.   The enquiry was launched after some male members of staff were alleged to be circulating emails in which they rated the physical appearance of their female colleagues.

Up to 17 male staff members are said to have circulated the emails which contained pictures of the young women who were the firm’s newest recruits.  A ‘league table’ was being compiled of the 13 women.

One message is said to have had a highly derogatory female description about the new group of recruits.

It’s exasperating, annoying and discouraging to find that this kind of inane, juvenile behavior still goes on, but not at all surprising.   It’s confirmation too, if any was needed, that lesser educated people don’t have the monopoly on crass behavior.

Some time ago while visiting the offices of a large company to see a colleague, I overheard a woman, in a senior management position in a large company, being branded “an arrogant bitch” by two male members of staff after she passed them because she deigned not to join in with their puerile banter.  They didn’t seem particularly concerned that I’d heard their comments.

 PWC say they’re taking the email matter seriously and are launching a full investigation.  Their human resources partner, Carmel O’Connor, says all necessary steps and action will be taken in line with her firm’s policies and procedures. She’ll probably be branded a ‘ball breaker’ for her trouble.  Unless a number of equally senior male colleagues are also put in charge of the investigation. 

Even if the investigation confirms that the offensive e-mails were sent in breach of company rules and those involved are sanctioned it’s likely to be met with a defensive attitude from the perpetrators.  If they saw nothing wrong with sending the emails around in the first place then they’re going to be resentful of being reprimanded for doing so.  The only thing that might concentrate their minds is if the woman about whom the comments were made and distributed

(it’s reported to finance companies, law firms, accountants, state bodies, construction companies and technology firms) believe they’ve been libeled and issue legal proceedings which could ultimately prove costly.

That might just bring about the realisation that workers of both sexes deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and bring the change of mindset that’s long overdue.

Isn’t the internet wonderful? What an extraordinary amazing, fantastic invention.

I can’t think of any other thing that has so many uses.

I use my internet to find out about things, all kinds of things. If a family member gets a diagnosis then I’m off to trawl the internet to educate myself more about it. You can always depend that you will find all ailments and conditions on the internet ….. some complete with very graphic photographs!

If I can’t remember a recipe for something … then I only have to Google it and up it pops! Amazing!

I can listen to my favourite artists and music via u-tube, while also downloading song lyrics of obscure songs from the 70’s that I though only I knew! Oh the excitement when I come across a song that I had forgotten about!

I can skype my daughter in Australia and speak to her as clearly as if she were only 100 feet away, I can also see her which is wonderful too, to see the lovely smiling happy cheery face that I miss so much.

I can do my household accounts on spread sheets; it’s a great way of finding out where all the money goes every week.

My son uses the computer extensively for his college work.

I am on facebook and I connect with friends and family regularly through this medium. I recently met up with a friend from Canada who had lived across the road from me when I lived in Dublin twenty three years ago!

I can see my daughters family photographs as soon as she puts them up!

Recently I found a group on facebook which is all about my hometown of Arklow, called Arklow “then and now”. I have spent hours trawling through the old photographs on this site and been delighted to stumble on photographs of my relatives all now sadly passed. This site also has a discussion board on many topics Arklow-related and it has evoked many childhood memories for me, places I used to be familiar with as a child, old characters of the town and some of the “sayings” that were unique to our town in the “good old days”

I can also email friends instead of texting, much handier i.e. you can say more and cheaper too!

Of course the internet has many downsides too.

The use by paedophiles using chat rooms to lure children is sickening.

The sheer volume of spam that comes into your mail box.

The proliferation of porn sites.

A few weeks ago a friend unwittingly sent me an email with an attachment that had been doing the rounds. You know the kind, we all get them from friends and colleagues, funny in nature, something to give us a laugh and cheer our day. Except this one wasn’t funny, it was horrendous.

I opened it up and it was a clip from u tube which showed an Indian man on top of a train being cajoled to come down. I didn’t understand what the clip was about until the man grabbed the overhead power cables, and killed himself. His lifeless, burning body fell on top of the train, as he was consumed in flames. It was truly shocking and I could not get the image out of my head, and thought about it for days afterwards. Who in their right mind would put up such an image of a man taking his own life on u tube for the gratification and “amusement” of others?

These days if you have a business and are not linked to Facebook or Twitter then you will get left behind.

For some of us the world wide web is our business, and I can work from home, no commuting, stop for coffee break whenever I feel like it, research articles, catch up with friends, write my blogs as the ideas pop into my head, and still stay in my dressing gown.

Job done!

 by Grainne

I wrote on the site in May about Fergie’s fall from grace, which was pretty spectacular.  Prince Andrew’s former wife was known for the most appalling gaffes and when she was caught in a sting trying to sell access to her estranged spouse for commercial advantage to a wealthy business man (actually a reporter posing as one) well it was mortifying for her and excruciatingly embarrassing for the royal family.  For the rest of us it was just entertaining.

 At least though she wasn’t a regular occupant of the moral high ground.  In fact people were pretty used to her putting her foot in it.  The same can’t be said about Cork 96 FM’s high profile presenter, Neil Prendeville, who’s faux pas is made all the worse by the fact that he saw himself as some kind of guardian of public standards.

 The 49-year-old morning show presenter has always liked publicity and courted controversy, styling himself on the late Gerry Ryan.  He’s now probably wishing fervently that the spotlight would go off him and, like the politicians he’s vilified on his show in the past that the country is gripped by collective amnesia. 

The man who’s blamed the combination of alcohol and Neurofen-Plus for alleged lewd behavior on an airplane has suffered a massive personal scandal.  It’s hard to see (if you’ll pardon the pun) how it can get any worse for him.  And you have to have sympathy for his wife and children.  The sense of schadenfraude however is pervasive.  Why so?  Probably because anyone who ensconces themselves so thoroughly in a glass house has to always be conscious of their fragile surroundings.  Human behavior being what it is, people are less forgiving when the saint becomes the sinner.  Witness the clerical sex abuse scandals.  What most incensed people was that clergy who preached to us about sin and evil had among them some who were the greatest offenders.

True to type, in his on-air apology last week, Prendeville managed to find an opportunity to preach to us, on the dangers of mixing alcohol and painkillers.  Doing us a service, if you will.  Except that managed to get even more up the noses of the public. 

It’d be interesting to hear what the makers of Neurofen Plus make of the whole thing.  They can’t be too pleased.  They’ll surely be reluctant to add the cautionary “may render user susceptible to urges to masturbate publicly” in the list of side effects in their leaflets. 

and here’s what Aine has to say on the same subject…….

 By Aine

Up until last week I had no idea who Neil Prenderville was, but thanks to allegations of lewd behavior on his behalf aboard an Aer Lingus flight from London to Cork on October 19^th, I, along with the rest of the country, am now familiar with the Cork radio presenter.  The incident has certainly upped his profile nationally, just not in a good way.

If he’d been part of a stag party heading to Cork, or any other member of the general population, he probably would’ve had a stern warning from the head of cabin crew, who would have ordered him to desist immediately, the pilot would have been informed and the Gardai would have been waiting on the runway to escort him to the local station for questioning.   Questions arise as to why that wasn’t done. 

The kind of behavior that has given rise to the allegations is serious.  Offending public decency on an airplane, where people are confined and therefore not at liberty to move away, makes it doubly unpleasant.   Many air travelers, myself included, have experienced incidents with obstreperous, intoxicated people on board flights, who won’t comply with instructions from the cabin crew.  They make the journey unpleasant for everyone else.   Granted the behavior which Mr. Prenderville is alleged to have engaged in was witnessed only by those in the immediate vicinity, i.e. some of  his fellow passengers in the row and the two airline stewardesses.  Still though, you’d imagine a strong message is needed from the airline that such behavior won’t be tolerated under any circumstances, regardless of fame or status.  Anyway the matter is now with the Gardai, the cabin crew, pilot and passengers seated near Mr. Prendeville having all given statements.  It’ll be interesting to see how the matter is dealt with.

Mr. Prenderville was in London as a guest of Cork Convention Bureau.  He’d been flown to London, and had attended Richard Corrigan’s famous restaurant ‘Bentleys’ before boarding the return flight at Heathrow at 10.15pm. Cork Convention Bureau is a private/public funded partnership whose role is to promote Cork as a destination for meetings, conferences and events.  This kind of thing is done all the time, engaging people considered to be high profile to act as ambassadors for them.

Let’s hope Mr. Prenderville did plenty of positive networking on their behalf before consuming (by his own admission) copious amounts of red wine, Guinness and painkillers and before boarding his ill-fated flight home.

Otherwise CCB have to be embarrassed by the alleged incident and the infamy it has brought to their organisation.   Richard Corrigan (who is a fantastic ambassador for Ireland and a tireless promoter of all that’s good about the country) can’t be too pleased either at the negative publicity the incident has attracted.   He won’t want to be tainted by association and doesn’t deserve to be.  No doubt CCB will think long and hard about who they send off to represent Cork on their next junket.

 by Grainne

Ryan Tubridy’s book on the 1963 visit to Ireland of President John F. Kennedy is getting a lot of publicity.  Mostly from his benevolent employer, RTE.  Authors of other new books must have looked on enviously recently as Tubridy’s book got talked up by various presenters across a range of radio programmes.  And then of course there was the one-hour documentary on the same subject hosted by – the author himself.  So much for impartiality by our national broadcaster. 

The visit itself has generated much press coverage over the years and that’s understandable.  While I was a young child at the time and the event went completely over my head, I can understand how it was a big deal   I can remember news of the President being shot coming through, just five months later, and how upset my mother was on hearing that terrible news (I remember her crying actually) but his visit to our shores invokes no memories whatsoever for me.

Ireland was a pretty dull place back in the early 1960s, still emerging from a time of deprivation and being ruled by an ultra conservative President.  It was still very much in the iron grip of the Catholic Church who dictated how people lived their lives and conducted their personal business, particularly married couples.  A bit of diversion in the form of a handsome American president who looked like a matinee-screen idol was bound to create a stir.   

With his film-star looks, gift for rousing oratory and mellifluous tones, compared to the arid Dev it’s no wonder people were in awe.  For his part he seemed motivated by no more than a desire to visit his ancestral homeland to see the auld place for himself.   He was here for four days in all, spreading himself across Dublin and counties Cork and Limerick as well as Wexford, the birthplace of his great grandfather. 

Accounts of his visit describe a personable individual who dispensed with protocol and security to go about shaking hands with the hordes that excitedly turned up to see him.  In speeches in New Ross and Dublin he acknowledged Ireland’s fight for freedom from British oppression.   We were flattered that he cared.  Then he went home and people basked in the warm glow of having an emigrant son (albeit two generations removed) who’d risen to the dizzying heights of president of arguably the most powerful country in the world having come for tea.  Big stuff right enough.  And worthy of a book no doubt.  I still think though that it being hyped to the heavens on national radio and television when the author is their most high-profile presenter is inappropriate.